


More Than Love

by KhemyklShark



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, mostly just Loki feels tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:09:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4978405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KhemyklShark/pseuds/KhemyklShark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being best friends with Loki certainly meant your life was never boring, but it wasn't all fun and games, either. Maybe you're exactly what he needs to finally piece his life back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Love

It had been a very long and tedious day at Stark tower. You’d spent the entire day running back and forth, collecting various items for Tony and Bruce. You knew you should be grateful; after all, Tony _had_ given you a very well-paying job and a place to stay, but spending the entire day rushing around, making coffees and collecting various parts of machinery for him and Bruce was definitely _not_ on the list of things you wanted to do with your day. You’d much rather have spent the day curled up in bed with your favourite green-eyed Trickster, watching terrible b-grade movies and devouring more chocolate than the both of you really needed. But alas, this was your job, so you didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter.

It was nearing 2 AM when they’d finally let you leave. You were tired and covered in oil and dust from when one of Tony’s machines had decided to explode in your face while you were trying to fix it. Now you were in your room, prying your clothes off and tossing them into the basket near the door. Too exhausted to do much else, you had a scalding hot shower, scrubbing off all the grime and sweat until your skin was red, before slipping on your comfiest shirt and pajama pants. You’d never felt such relief as you did when you finally crawled into bed, tugging your thick blankets up over you and pressing your face into your plush pillows…

Sleep was gently tugging at you, not that you planned to resist. You were so close to slipping under when your phone began buzzing on the nightstand.

**_Bzzt._ **

‘Just ignore it, Y/N…' You think to yourself, pressing your face further into your pillows, trying to drown out the buzzing. It was probably just Tony wanting something else, but you didn’t care that he was your boss. You were sleeping whether he liked it or not.

**_Bzzt._ **

You sigh and reach out to grab your phone off the nightstand, intending to turn it off, but you changed your mind when you saw 2 unread texts from Loki flashing on the screen. Had they been from anyone else, you might have thrown your phone across the room in hopes of breaking the device. But with previous aggravation forgotten, you opened the texts. For Loki, you would stay up the rest of the night if he so wished.

> **From: Loki** **♡** **  
> **_Sometimes I wonder why I bother trying to fix things…  
>  _  
>  **From: Loki** **♡**  
>  _Perhaps I should just stop trying._

You frown. That was… certainly not what you were expecting. Usually his texts were lighthearted and amusing comments about whatever show, movie or book he was enthralled with at the time. You rubbed at your sore eyes before tapping out a response.

> **From: Y/N** **  
> ** _Is everything alright, Loki?_

The reply was almost instant, like he already knew what you were going to say and had written out a response. You didn’t doubt that, though. He always seemed to know you better than you knew yourself. He knew you would worry.

> **From: Loki** **♡** **  
> **_... It is nothing to concern yourself with. I apologise, I will leave you to sleep now. Goodnight._  

You sighed and flung your blankets off, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and getting up with a stretch that had your back popping in several places and your muscles groaning in protest. If Loki was apologising, then something was definitely wrong, and a few aching muscles wouldn’t keep you from your best friend. After pulling on your favourite hoodie - one you'd borrowed from Loki many weeks ago and never returned, not that he ever asked for it back - you padded downstairs and to the lounge.

 

Ever since New York, Loki had been staying at Stark Tower, which made all of the Avengers rather unhappy, but Thor had insisted that Loki would not cause any trouble and that he was only here to make up for the damage he’d caused. Tony had eventually agreed, though he demanded that Loki's powers be taken away first. Which is why Loki now permanently sported two wrist bands, made in Asgard, designed to completely block his powers. He’d complained a lot at first, but after figuring out how to use Midgardian technology to keep himself busy, he’d been a lot more accepting of it. Although it was obvious that it still angered him that the one thing he had of his mother was now taken from him.

Loki hadn’t been given a room, either. Tony made him stay in the lounge so that JARVIS could keep a better eye on him. But even after Loki’s protests, all the Avengers had agreed with Tony. You had a sneaking suspicion that they just didn’t want Loki sleeping on the same floor as them, afraid he would cause trouble. You would have let him stay in your room, but when you’d tried to offer, you’d gotten a strict ‘ _Y/N I swear to god if you sneak him into your room, I will take away all your privileges and have you work full time for a week. Not even with pee-breaks._ ’ from Tony. This is why you were now headed to the lounge.

 

You stepped into the dark room, the only light being a dim glow from the couch. Loki’s phone, you assumed. You quietly make your way over, incase he’s fallen asleep. You knew he had trouble sleeping, and he would always claim it was because the couch was so uncomfortable, but you knew about his nightmares. He’s curled up facing the back of the couch, wearing black pajama pants and a dark green shirt, his hair strewn across his pillow. It had grown out quite a bit since he’d first arrived, now reaching past his shoulders. He’s staring at his phone, more accurately at the texts he’d just sent to you, the light making his pale skin glow blue. You sit down on the edge of the couch behind him, your leg brushing against his back, making him tense slightly, but he doesn’t look up, he already knows it’s you. No one else would dare sit that close to him.

“Talk to me, Loki…” You murmur softly, placing your hand tentatively on his shoulder.

“There’s nothing _to_ talk about.” He replies curtly, pressing the lock button on the top of his phone, sending the room into total darkness.

“You may be the God of Lies, but you’re also my friend. I _know_ you, and I know something is wrong.” You trace light circles on his shoulder with the pad of your thumb, and you can tell by the way he relaxes slightly that the motion is comforting.

“Why do you care, Y/N?” He asks with a defeated sigh.

“C’mon, Lo’.” You whisper, using the nickname you’d affectionately given him. He’d hated it at first, commenting that his name was already short enough, but he’d warmed up to it over time. You only used it when you were alone with him. “You’re very important to me, you know this… Now, please tell me what’s bothering you..?”

He doesn’t reply, instead he places his hand over yours, which still rests on his shoulder, and squeezes your fingers gently. You stay like that for a while, listening to the sound of him breathing. You let him take his time, knowing that confiding in someone is hard for him. Placing your trust in another leaves you vulnerable, a feeling Loki knows all too well. He _loathes_ it.

“I’m a _monster._ ” He finally breaths out, after what feels like hours.

“You’re not-”

“I am! I have done many horrible things. Things that you would surely hate me for. And I would understand, too, if you grew to hate me… I deserve no less.” He cuts you off, letting out a shaky breath.

“There is nothing that could ever make me hate you…” You murmur, “You’re not evil. You’re just lost in a world that’s too blind to see past _what_ you are and see you for _who_ you are.”

“But you see?” He asks after a moment of silence, his voice quiet. You smile softly.

“Yes, Loki… I see the real you.” It’s a simple reply, but he knows what you mean by it. It’s a mutual understanding. He is a part of your life now, having worked his way into your heart by simply being himself. He’d been there for you in times when no one else was, providing you with friendship and care you hadn’t known you’d needed until he’d walked into your life. Just like you had done for him. Over time you’d grown to love him, every perfection and imperfection. Even when he would snap and yell at you over the silliest thing, nothing made your affections waver in the slightest.

Your eyes had adjusted to the dark by now, and you watched him, the leather couch squeaking quietly as he sits up and turns to face you. He’s watching you with calculating eyes, thinking over your words and wondering exactly what he’s supposed to do with them. You smile warmly.

“C’mere.” You coax, holding your arms out to him, knowing exactly what he needs.

He finally caves at your warm tone, his strong arms reaching out and winding firmly around your waist, his lean form slotting against yours as he pulls you to him. Your fingers slide soothingly through his silky hair as he nuzzles into your neck, gripping onto you like you’re his lifeline, inhaling your scent. You sigh contently, holding him close and breathing out quiet words of comfort as his tears begin to seep through your shirt, his shoulders shaking and his breath coming out in broken gasps. Seeing him like this made your heart ache and anger boil in the pit of your stomach. You knew very well of Loki’s past, and you knew why the others didn’t trust him, but you saw past that. You saw a beautiful man with a bright soul that’d been twisted, beaten, and used. You saw _this_ side of him. Vulnerable and lost, trying so desperately to find his place in a cruel world. And you wondered how anyone could ever bring themselves to harm such a broken soul.

 

Loki had confided in your comforts a few times during his stay at Stark Tower. You grew to learn more than just the stories you had heard from the Avengers. You learnt how he’d been deceived and used ever since he was a child. How even his own father, Laufey, had cast him out. How Odin had only taken him in as a bargaining chip. How his friends would ignore him, pushing him away into a forced seclusion that left him cold and distant. How maids would twist his tales, call him a monster and a liar, muttering about him behind his back when they thought he couldn’t hear them. He grew up alone. Even Frigga had become distant in the past years. Everyone _wanted_ to understand Loki, but no one made the effort to see past the stories they’d heard, until you came along.

You remembered a particular night very clearly. It was the first time Loki had really placed his trust in you. You remembered his crimson eyes, his soft blue skin, how cold he had felt. But mostly you remembered how his body shook with unimaginable fear at the thought of scaring you away, too.

 

* * *

  

**_*Flashback*_ **

_“Loki? Are you in here?” You called out as you walked into the lounge. The Avengers had just left on a mission, leaving you alone with the man you’d come to call friend._

_“It’s not like I could possibly be anywhere else!” He snapped in response from his place on the couch, his head resting his hands, long black hair falling smoothly over his shoulders. You frowned._

_“Are you okay…?” That got you an icy glare. You knew he had a temper, but usually he would take it out on Thor, not you._

_“Just leave! I wish to be alone right now.” He scowled, resting back and draping his arm over his emerald eyes after you fixed him with a questioning gaze._

_You took a moment to note his appearance. His hair was disheveled, like he’d been running his fingers through it too often, and his clothes were wrinkled, hanging loosely around his lean frame. The room wasn’t as well kept as usual, either, with books thrown haphazardly around the room and various other belongings of Loki’s tossed carelessly onto the floor. A picture of him and his family back is Asgard, torn and scattered across the coffee table. You had to do something about this. You walked over and settled down on the couch next to him, not missing the way he tensed and shifted away._

_“Loki, please… I hate seeing you like this…” You spoke first._

_“Why must you always try and concern yourself with my problems, Y/N?” He sighed, lowering his arm to his lap. You saw his eyes then, red rimmed and angry._

_“Because I care about you, and I do not wish to see you suffer.” You reach out, gently wiping the drying tears from his pale cheeks with the pads of your thumbs, a sad smile gracing your lips._

_“You are a fool, and I greatly appreciate your concern…” he said with a sigh of endearment, his cheek resting against the palm of your warm hand. You couldn’t help but think how perfectly you two fit together._

_“Perhaps, but you are just as much a fool as I.” you tease lightly, making him chuckle, though it didn’t meet his sad eyes._

_“Being around such kindness, it is a feeling I am not used to. And sometimes, it is a painful reminder of what I am, and why I do not deserve your affections.” He uttered with a sad smile. You frowned, staring up into his eyes._

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“I have not been completely honest with you… You know I am not truly a son of Odin, of course. But I have never told you my true heritage.” His eyes briefly flash with fear, but he is quick to hide it._

_“You know that no matter what you are, that will not alter my feelings for you.” You try to comfort him, but he shakes his head, your words falling on deaf ears._

_“My true form would frighten you. I know it would. But I cannot hide it forever, knowing it is there, a part of me. I cannot hide what I am, no matter how much I try…”_

_“Then don’t hide. Show me. Let me prove to you that nothing will change that you are still Loki to me.” You look up into his eyes, pleading silently that he will believe you._

_“I can’t lose you, not when you’re the only person to ever have faith in me.”_

_“You won’t lose me, ever. I have complete faith in you, so have faith in me now…”_

_Loki wrings his hands together nervously, studying your face – looking for any hint of caution or lies. It’s a tense moment, you two just staring at each intently, before finally he lets out a shaky sigh and runs his hand over his face. He stands, and you notice he’s shaking, so you reach out and grasp his hand gently, giving him a reassuring smile which he gratefully returns, albeit nervously._

_It takes him a moment to prepare himself and your hand is still grasped tightly in his as he begins to change. His normally pale skin fades to an icy blue and various markings begin forming on his otherwise smooth skin. You had to admit, you found him rather beautiful – not that you didn’t find him beautiful all the time. Then you notice his hand has turned cold, colder than normal, and when you look up at him curiously, your breath hitches, (e/c) meeting red._

_He looks so scared, desperate for your acceptance. You let your eyes roam over his form as you stand, noticing the way he flinches at the movement – afraid you will run, that you’ll hate him now that you’ve seen his true form. But you refuse to let him linger on those thoughts as you step up against him and lean into his firm chest, one hand still holding his cool fingers, the other gripping onto the loose fabric of his shirt. You relish in the feeling of cold against warm, the perfect contrast, and you listen to his heartbeat, pounding heavily against his chest._

_“You’re beautiful, Loki. My fallen prince…” you peek up at him, watching as a lone tear glides down his cheek. You brush it away with your lips before it has the chance to fall from his jaw. “I’m not leaving you, and I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”_

_He says nothing as he pulls you tight against his chest, cold lips pressing against your forehead as his scent surrounds you. He smelt like peppermint, a scent that can only be Loki, and the crispness of a snowy winter morning. And you’d never felt more at home._

 

**_*End flashback*_ **

 

* * *

 

 

After a while, the sound of your voice and your soft hands cradling him so gently began to lull him into a state of pure calm. His shoulders stopped trembling, and his tears subsided not long after. But you continued to hold him, until the two of you became so tired you could barely keep your eyes open.

It was Loki who pulled away first, his hands moving along your lower back and coming to rest on your hips instead, your faces mere inches apart, and you both shared a smile as your fingers continue to rake through his hair.

“I have kept you up far past your usual bed time, Y/N.” He yawned, the feeling of your fingers in his hair making his eyes droop.

“Hush, you are far more important than sleep.” You said sternly, but with a soft smile on your lips. Loki hummed, too tired to argue, before pulling away completely and pushing himself up off the couch.

“Come, I will walk you back to your room.” He offered you a hand, which you took without a second thought, letting him pull you to your feet. Together you walked up to your floor, fingers entwined together, your steps in sync with each other. You didn’t speak, not until you reached the door to your room.

“This is where I leave you-” He began, but you cut him off by placing a single finger to his thin lips.

“No. I will not let you return to that stingy little couch, no matter what Tony says. Stay with me, if even for one night…” It’s not a suggestion, and he knows it.

“You’re as stubborn as me, love. I hope I’m not rubbing off on you too much.” He chuckles, allowing you to lead him into your room.

“Oh, I should be so lucky.” You teased, letting go of his hand and making a beeline for your bed.

He’d been in here before, on days when he and you were home alone. It was tidy for the most part, save for your unmade bed and a few bits of clothing tossed onto the floor. Your walls were lined with shelves, overflowing with books and movies, and Tony had given you a large TV which was mounted to the wall across from your queen-sized bed. The two of you had spent many days just cuddling and watching movies there. Next to your bed was a night stand, which was covered with small trinkets and gifts that Loki had given you over the weeks he’d been there, along with a framed photo of the two of you. You’d actually managed to get a grin from him long enough to snap the photo, and while it was a little blurry and you both looked a mess, you loved it. All of this made Loki’s lips twitch into a fond smile. He was truly blessed to have found you.

“You coming or what?” You asked from the bed, watching him stand in the middle of your room, looking around. He was snapped out of his thoughts when you spoke, and nodded as he made his way over and sunk down onto the soft mattress next to you.

“Better now?” You ask as you curl up to him, smiling when he drapes his arms around you, tugging you against his chest.

“Much. Thank you, Y/N. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you…” He sighs, brushing the tip of his nose against yours.

“Mm, me too.” You yawn, tangling your legs with his and pressing closer.

You’re pressed tightly together now, not even an inch of space between the two of you. It’s a closeness you eagerly welcome, limbs tangled, breath mingling together. This was love, and so much more. You had never needed to say ‘I love you’, because you both just _knew_. There were no awkward confessions, and pining from afar. From the moment you walked into each other’s lives, you understood each other on a level so deep that others could only dream of. You loved him. He loved you. You felt completely _comfortable_ together.

Then Loki leans in, pressing his cool lips against yours for the first time and you sigh happily at the feeling, your hands clutching onto his shirt as you kiss him back, lips fitting together perfectly and moving in sync with one another. It’s a kiss you both need, but it’s not desperate or rushed, it just feels _right_.

Once you part, Loki nuzzles into your neck, his eyes fluttering shut and he drifts into a peaceful and much needed sleep. You run your hands soothingly up and down his back, waiting until he’s fast asleep before you close your eyes too and join him in sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> 2 AM ideas turn into feels. Then again, I'm always having Loki feels. Sorry if it seems rushed or if there's any mistakes.  
> I will most likely be adding more parts to this, but for now it is a one-shot. Any more parts would be flashbacks or perhaps just some other less feelsy times you've had with Loki. But this is the main part of the story, and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> This is also the first fic I have posted on here, so please go easy on me! ;; comments are very much appreciated! ♥


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